I'm going to be honest: all my best ideas come to me in bed or in the shower. So it's no surprise that the following blog started out as a seed of an idea late one night as I was lying in bed, and blossomed whilst I was in the shower this morning. This is the result. As usual, very little editing has been done of this to keep it 'real'. (As opposed to those pesky fake blog articles).
2012. We're well into the 2010s. And so I thought, since 1999, what's changed? With me, specifically. And I got to writing a list of stuff. Mainly because I like lists and writing them is the best thing to do when confronted with one. I handpicked a few 'turning points' of my life, and then started wondering what would've happened if things were different. So I guess this is kind of a 'What if...' episode that while it's fun and 'cooky', doesn't actually build on character development or relationships. Enjoy!
1999
Pros: I'm in year 12! I'm surrounded by the best friends I'll ever have! I enjoy school (for the most part). I live a relatively sheltered life from outside influences. The whole 'terrorist' thing has yet to grip the world.
Cons: School's a bit of a shit. The right combination of bullies and a general feeling of not knowing what to do haunts me. VCE has me confused: why do my teachers keep saying that my whole future depends on how well I perform at school this year??? In fact, I see school as a bit of a waste of time.
The actual results: An remarkably average TER score (somewhere in the low-70s). I manage to scrape into an TAFE IT degree, even though I'm not really that 'into' it. During Summer holidays, my school rings me up and tells me they want me back as part of their 'IT Traineeship' program. I accept. I realise that even those kids you got 99.97 won't have a full time job for probably another 7 years while they finish their medical/law degrees. Most important lesson learned: VCE results don't mean shit.
What if...: I actually stand up to the bullies. I had a red-belt in Taekwon-do at that stage. I can easily break boards with my fists, elbows, and feet. Maybe I should break a few noses. This leads me to be suspended/expelled, and I fall into a life of crime and a seedy underworld of drugs, booze, and loose women. I become the new influence for the Unberbelly series nearly one decade later...
2000
Pros: New millenium! New job! Don't have to study. I have money for the first time ever. It appears that the apocalypse was put on hold until 2012.
Cons: The Y2K bug was a massive flop. I'm working 5 days a week in the same place I completed my VCE only months ago.
Results: I can buy stuff and call it my own. I learn what it's like to have a full time job.
What if...: I don't accept the school's offer. I end up stuck in an IT degree that I don't really enjoy, but decide to complete anyway because "it's something to do...". End up working for some dodgy firm in a helpdesk role.
2004
Pros: Finished my IT Degree! The world is at my feet. Hey, I have a talent for writing...
Cons: What the hell do I do now? I hate IT. The last thing I want to do is work in it 5 days a week.
Results: I'm jobless and sitting at home most of the day. It's actually pretty cool. I begin doing some creative writing to get my mind working. It's actually pretty fun. Hey, maybe I should enrol in a shortcourse to see what happens. What's that? You want me for the RMIT Professional Screenwriting course? Of course I'll accept! I'M GOING TO BE A SCREENWRITER!
What if...: I don't do that screenwriting shortcourse. I put my love of screenwriting on the shelf next to my rollerblades, electric keyboard, and POG collection. I get a mindless job, and get stuck there until I'm 40, after which I'm fired.
2005-2007
Pros: I'm at TAFE again, but this time studying screenwriting! New friends. I'm nurturing my creative talent, and having fun! I feel I've found my calling.
Cons: Still mostly jobless. I realise fully what the saying "All girls are bitches" truly means.
Results: Loving life. Visions/delusions of grandeur infiltrate my mind. Get a job working in the ABC Shop. Excellent news!
What if...: I honestly can't think of any 'what if' scenarios here. I did pretty much everything the way I would've. Good work.
2009
Pros: I go to Germany for 6 weeks! Working full time. Apply and get accepted into university.
Cons: Still living at home. Starting to feel like my time to change stuff is running out.
Results: Fantastic year. Travelled, worked, got accepted into university. Things are looking up!
What if...: I decide not to travel, and 'settle' into a comfortable but mindless retail job. Yuck. I don't even want to think about it.
2010
Pros: Finally at university! Awesome new friends. Finally move out and living with my best mate.
Cons: I realise how expensive living out of home is, and take a vow of poverty.
Results: Quite possibly the craziest and best year of my life. Uni peeps are amazing. Loving university life, and life outside home. Again, have the feeling that this is what I'm meant to be doing.
What if...: I don't go to uni. I miss out on meeting fantastic new friends, most of which I can't imagine my life without now. I remain working full time in retail, eventually dying alone surrounded by cats who eventually feast on my rotting corpse.
Hmm. That's a good place to end it.
I'm not going to write a conclusion. You can work that bit out for yourself.
Peace.
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